The white collar bribe brigade

Here is a small conversation between the HR manager (a highly respected position in our IT society) of a top IT company and a consultant:

HR Guy: Hi, we need give candidates for profiles which i will send you by email. So get me some resumes for those profiles

Consultant: Sure, will work on it immedietely. BTW, did you mention the approximate salary ranges for these profiles?

HR guy: yes, i mentioned... dont push me into offering more salaries this time... and as usual, you get a month's salary of that particular candidate and our personal equation is 30%:70%.... is that ok?

Consultant: Of course Sir, the equation remains the same. BTW, i am inviting a few select friends for drinks at the bar in Leela Palace today, please do join us.

On his way back from work, the HR guy is stopped by a traffic constable and he is asked for the documents. He produces all the docs except for the emission certificate. The constable says "give me rs 300 and i wont write a challan" .... the HR guy gives me Rs 300, closes his window and mutters to himself "goddamn police - corrupt to the core" ...

Epilogue: After a few days, the consultant places 5 candidates for the five profiles with each candidate getting an approximate salary of 1 lakh a month. The HR guy and the consultant stay true to their equation and divide up the total sum of 5 lakhs in a 30/70 ratio. The HR guy wanted to buy a big screen LED TV for the world cup and he got the money for it now..... VIVA ESPANA.......


Another conversation between a corporate services manager in a high profile IT company with some 3000 employees and a food caterer... they both meet in a bar...

Caterer: Sir, please renew the contract for another 2 years... and we will maintain our current equation plus a free goft at the end of the year.

Corp Services Manager: Ok, i dont mind.. but i need to increase the ratio to 70:30 from the current 80:20....

Caterer: sir, it is difficult since we cannot raise the prices of the meals by much and all the food raw material prices have gone up.... you know how much toor dal costs nowadays sir...

Corp Services manager: i have other good offers too...

Caterer: ok, if you insist, but i may not provide toor dal, the employees have to adjust with Urad Dal ...

Corp Services Manager: I am ok with it... anyway, i bring my lunch box.... plus you can have a strict control at the dessert vessel - only allow one sweet per person. after all, employees should not overeat sweets and become obese for their own health issues

Caterer: that we do anyway, but maybe we will now only provide dalda based sweets made of flour which have longer shelf life.. is that ok?

Corp Services Manager: thats ok, so what is the gift you have in mind?

Caterer: would a nice Hyundai i20 work?

Corp Services Manager: hmm, make it Volkswagen Polo and i will renew the contract for 3 years.

The corp services manager gets up from the bar and goes to another pub to meet his friends.. they all sit around a couple of pitchers and start conversing about all topics.... then someone brings up about some politician who recently got caught in a big bribery scandal.... and the corp services manager says " i say, all politicians should be shot dead in the open... everyone of them is totally corrupt"