Have you ever faced a situation where you were praised and then you found yourself suddenly heavy with burden - the burden of living upto those expectations?
Tell the waiter at a restaurant to select the best dish for you and he will make sure he will go to great lengths to get you something special because you have put the burden on him by praising his culinary knowledge.
Tell a lady she is very beautiful and everytime she comes to see you she will go crazy going through her make up kit and dresses to make sure she looks as beautiful as possible - creating a burden on her through praise...
if a person is praised in front of a lot of other people as having amazing wit, he will try really hard everytime to come up with a smart line - a burden he will try to live upto everytime in front of that group of people..
if a manager tells his employee that he trusts him with his work and has enormous respect for his hard work and intelligence, that employee has just been enslaved for ever to the manager, unless either of them quit the company..
tell a man that you think he has enormous stamina to play a full game of basketball and if you are watching him, he will push himself harder than ever to keep himself on the court despite shedding copious amounts of sweat and panting like a dog.
Tell a guy that you value his financial knowledge and you ask him for some financial advice, you will hardly hear a no despite his ignorance of that issue... the burden you put on him will never let him to say 'i dont know'..
something about living upto the expectations of the people who think something of you - be it beauty or intelligence or wit or wisdom ...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
but there are also those kind of people who know they dont deserve a praise, but when they do get praised - they bask in its glory forever and become these overconfident beings.
ReplyDeletei feel that people who dont deserve a praise and who do get praise feel even more burdened to live upto it since they know they got away the first time...
ReplyDeleteDude Neo, you are a great blog writer!
ReplyDeleteRuchi - your comments are always insightful!
:-))
- AK
i feel the burden already, AK.
ReplyDeleteAK, you are a great friend, to who i can turn to when i am in need...
ReplyDeleteThe burden or praise indeed weighs heavily on most people. But that is because we all, at some level, work towards being and feeling accepted.
ReplyDeleteIf you look at praise as a motivator rather than a burden, well then, isn't that what we look for in life. Motivation. And if you work harder due to that motivating factor, well then more power to you.
but most of the times it stiffles one's natural style.... saya guy who is quite witty.. but once praised as a real good wit, he will try to overdo it since everytime he tries to be witty and that screws up his natural style... motivation is a bit different to this.... motivation makes u push yourself, such praise which when acting as a burden makes you overdo things
ReplyDeletecan it also be that the person who praised this guy for his wit has consequently raised his expectations a bit too much and is perpetually judging the guy on his wit while the witty guy is just behaving normal (not consciously trying to be witty) ?
ReplyDeleteI don't have anything to say.... I'm commenting here just to prove my existence
ReplyDeleteneo
ReplyDeletenowadays no body takes the praise they feel it as flattery (maska) :-)
neo
ReplyDeletey dont u write a piece on flattery (maska) with ur own experiences.